The Little Lamb at Christmas

I remember it quite well.  Perhaps it was our sixth Christmas in Spain.  And we were actually living in a house, instead of the customary apartment building, in Madrid, Spain.  

In Spain Christmas was different from the nostalgic American Christmas.

A few customary American Christmas carols rang out over the radio or tv, but more typical Spanish Christmas carols recited lines about Mary washing Jesus’ diapers in the stream, while in the trees above the birds chirped praises about the Christ-child.  

Christmas in Spain was also filled with fireworks, especially on Christmas Eve.  The neighbors often dropped firecrackers from their apartments above, to land on the sidewalks eight floors below.  Christmas Eve was a noisy event!

Nothing anyone did seemed to satisfy the hungry Spanish appetite for satisfaction — the family had to be together, the food had to be the best, the best wines and liquors served, and the seafood the rarest and most expensive in the market.  Christmas Eve held the reputation of being one of the grandest close knit family banquets of the year. 

I sensed hollowness and loneliness during that festive time in Spain.  My closest Spanish friends often told me that they did not like Christmas, that they longed for their missing relatives, that the season held no satisfaction for them.

On this particular forenoon of December 24, I looked out of the front window, and across the street.  And there I saw that the neighbors had the cutest, most darling little lamb tied up by their porch.  

My heart cried out, “Oh, what a cute little white lamb!  Oh, what a darling pet!  I wonder if they bought it for a gift for their children.”  It bleated its cries — out there alone, lonely, standing by itself in the cold.  It couldn’t move very much because it was tied with a slender rope to something by the cement porch.  “Oh,” I thought, “I wish I could go out there and pet it, or hold it, and help it not to feel so lonely.”  

And then, a little shocked, I suddenly realized, that standing there shivering and bleating, was the Christmas Eve meal!  This darling little lamb had just a little time left, and then it would be slaughtered, cut up, roasted in the oven, and provide a succulent meal of lamb for everyone sitting around the table that night.  

I turned away from the window, and with an aching heart, went back to my own kitchen.  

As I tried to get enthused about my own meal preparations for that evening, the scene from across the street dominated my thoughts.  That dear little lamb — “How sad!,” I thought.  

And then, it started to dawn on me that this is what Christmas is all about.  

The spotless Lamb came into the world, and John the Baptist cried out, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”  A little over three years later, this Lamb cried out in agony before His own horrific sacrifice.  

 

Why?  Why should the sacrifice of this one and only Lamb matter so much?  Why would the death of that One Lamb be radical enough to affect every moment of time, every moment of life, every act of history, and the events of future ages to come?

Should we not be amazed to realize that this Lamb was God Himself?  God-made man, God incarnate, the very presence of God on earth in human form.  Should that alone not be enough to stagger us, to startle us, and make us wonder how such a thing could actually be?

This Lamb came here to die, and His shedding of His blood goes even deeper.  He was sacrificed because He too came to feed you and me. 

That little Lamb born in a manger, showing the world who He was, training His disciples, was the Lamb of God.  He gave up His life; His blood flowed, and He did it to cure my toxic state, to clean me of everything rotten within me, and everything that makes me a wretchedly sick creature!, And then He fed me with food from above.   

Let us remember that Christmas really means that the little Lamb was born, awaited his death, just like the little lamb tied to my neighbor’s porch, but this Lamb would pay with His own death the price for my completely toxic and diseased state — that is when the door of my heart opened to take Him in and say, “I believe You — You are the Lamb of God.  I want You.  I’m taking you.  Clean me from my rotten mess, and give me the food that is You!”   

This Lamb who also awaited His death, became that complete sacrifice, so that now we too can feast on the riches of the greatest banquet we could ever enjoy.  

 

Let us “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

Mom's Very Last Years

Many may question the value of a very aged life, like my Mother’s.  She has memory loss, yet always knows me when I come to visit her, and also knows my name.  She also refers to my husband, although now she can’t remember his name as she did one year ago.  She also vaguely remembers my children.

Now it is also hard to hear her when she speaks.  I have to lean over close to her so that I can understand her garbled words.  Her enthusiasm or happiness  or emphasis about something is sometimes expressed through clapping.  This seems to give a release to her emotions and perhaps the privilege of being a little more energetic, as now she cannot walk alone nor has the strength to use a walker.

And yet through her existence from bed to rocking chair in her room, to puzzle table in the Solarium to dining room and back to bed after supper, I have never heard her complain.  She generally has a ready disposition to be happy.  During my visits I have never seen her sad.  She might get a little disgusted with her pureed food, however, she simply pushes it away without saying anything negative.  

I have been so very blessed by my extended visits to see Mom.  Each time I have taken the trip to be with her, I have come away with a deep sense of peace and joy.  I have felt refreshed and comforted.  Each time I have been tremendously blessed.  

What is the value of the life of a 102 year old Christian, who can no longer “work” for God?  One who can’t “witness,” or do good works, but is utterly dependent on everyone else for help?  Is this life useless, and should it just be done away with because it isn’t much good for anything anymore?  God forbid!

I can hardly believe the way God has used Mom to minister to me during this last year.  With the death of my second husband, a sense of deep loss entered my life, especially as I lived the same so keenly with the death of my first husband twenty years ago in Spain.  I have often felt alone, and noted the hollow emptiness in my home.  

And yet every time I go to visit Mom in the nursing home, I have the sense of going “home.”  In her presence, I don’t have to be something; I don’t have to even necessarily talk; I can totally relax.  Mom and I can be together in her little half-room, and hardly say a word, but there’s a deep sense of contentment because we’re together.  I don’t feel rated, or evaluated, or graded.  I don’t have to be correct or right enough or nice enough.  It is just enough for me to just be in the same little room with her.  

With the sorrow of my loss of two husbands, Mom has been a source of great comfort — not because she says anything about it, but simply because she is “Mom,” and with that comes a deep sense of comfort and peace and belonging.  

Her life in these last years has meant so much to me.  I look forward to every trip to see her, and come away feeling filled with the blessing of God.  

Let us never look on the life of our parents with disdain, no matter how old or incapable they are.  God is still using them to give us the place we so often need — something on earth that still touches the warmth of “going home.”

Will You Be Blown Away? / ¿Te llevará el viento?

In English:
I looked over the ground with expectation and delight. My big garden was now planted. In my imagination I could already see the summer produce--green peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, green beans, zucchini squash, pumpkins and melons.
During the following days little green shoots poked through the soil and claimed their ground in the straight rows. With pleasure I rejoiced over the small growth I saw every day.
However, one planted row showed no signs of life. "Why aren't the melons coming up?" I wondered.
Perplexed, I stood with Antonio, the gardener, looking at the empty row. I wanted the whole garden to grow, melons included.
Bending down, Antonio carefully broke the surface of the soil where the melon seeds were planted. "The seeds do not lack moisture," he said, as he felt the humidity of the soil.
He then dug down to the buried seeds. "The seeds aren't even sprouting," Antonio observed.
Rolling the soil back over the seeds he said, "Perhaps they need a little more time. We'll give them a few more days."
I continued to watch my garden grow. I delighted to see new life springing out of the ground, except for the lifeless row of melons.
A few days later Antonio came to check on the garden again. Kneeling down, he again dug into the soil where the melon seeds lay.
He found some of the seeds, but they still showed no signs of life. "What is the problem?" he wondered.
Then Antonio decided to break one of the seeds in half so that he could look inside. I saw that he looked surprised and hardly knew what to say as he looked at the broken seed in his hands.
I started to lift the seed out of Antonio's hand so that I also could look at it. However, before I could look, the breath of a slight breeze whisked it out of my fingers and blew it away. Carried by the air, the light seed blew away because it was nothing but chaff. The melon seed was completely hollow on the inside!
Our lives are held by outer shells. Some shells hold genuine life, and others do not.
When Christ came to earth, He said to mankind,

"I came that they might have life..."
(Gospel of John 10:10)

He meant genuine abundant eternal life. Only the seed planted into Christ sprouts up into genuine life within us.
Don't be lost like chaff that blows away.
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ with your whole repentant heart and receive His life. You will then be a seed with true life planted for eternity.

"He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life
will no longer live for themselves.
Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.
The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"
(From the Bible:
2 Corinthians 5:15-17)

En español:
Observé mi parcela con ilusión expectante. Por fin había plantado un huerto. Ya me estaba imaginando los productos del huerto--pimientos verdes, tomates, berenjenas, judías verdes, calabacín, calabazas y melones.
Durante los próximos días, empezaron a asomar brotes verdes entre la tierra, cada uno reclamando su particular terreno en su recta fila. Me regocijaba con cada mínimo crecimiento que observaba de día en día.
Sin embargo, en una de las filas no había señales de vida. "¿Por qué no están creciendo los melones?" me pregunté a mi misma.
Cuando vino Antonio, el hortelano, nos quedamos los dos perplejos mirando la fila vacía. Quería que creciera todo el huerto, melones incluidos.
Antonio se agachó y con cuidado rompió la superficie de la tierra donde estaban plantadas las semillas de los melones. "No les falta humedad", dijo, mientras palpaba el suelo.
Cavó hasta encontrar las semillas enterradas. "Las semillas no están ni siquiera brotando", observó.
Volvió a cubrir las semillas y dijo, "Puede que necesiten un poco más de tiempo. Vamos a darlas unos días más".
El huerto seguía creciendo cada día. Me alegraba ver el progreso de vida brotando de la tierra--menos la fila con las semillas de melones, que no daba señales de vida.
Antonio volvió al huerto unos días más tarde. Volvió a agacharse y a cavar en la tierra donde estaban las semillas de los melones.
Encontró algunas de las semillas, pero todavía no mostraban señales de vida. "¿Cuál será el problema?" se preguntó.
Entonces Antonio partió una de las semillas por la mitad para verla por dentro. Ví que parecía sorprendido y que casi no sabía qué decir mientras observaba la semilla partida en sus manos.
Empecé a coger la semilla de la mano de Antonio para mirarla también. Sin embargo, antes de poder mirarla, una leve ráfaga de aire la levantó de mis dedos y se la llevó. El aire se llevó la ligera semilla porque no era nada más que paja. ¡La semilla del melón estaba completamente vacía por dentro!
Nuestras vidas se contienen en cáscaras exteriores. Algunas cáscaras encierran vida genuina, y otras no.
Cuando Jesucristo vino a la tierra, dijo a la humanidad,

"...yo he venido para que tengan vida..."
(Evangelio de San Juan 10:10)

Quería decir vida genuina, abundante y eterna. Solamente una semilla plantada en Cristo brota para vida genuina dentro de nosotros.
No seas como el rastrojo que se llevó el viento.
Cree en el Señor Jesucristo con todo tu corazón arrepentido y recibe su vida. Entonces serás una semilla plantada con vida auténtica para la eternidad.

"...por todos murió, para que los que viven,
ya no vivan para sí, sino para aquel que murió y resucitó por ellos...
De modo que si alguno está en Cristo,
nueva criatura es;
las cosas viejas pasaron;
he aquí, son hechas nuevas".
(De la Biblia:
2 Corintios 5:15,17)

Easter / Semana Santa

In English:
The greatest gift is not heaven when I die, but new life from the moment of belief in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The greatest sin is not to value that gift for who He is.
Jesus Christ is the only way for me to adequately see my sin.
The Lamb of God was slain for my sin and resurrected in victory. He is the gift to all who believe in HIM.
This is what Easter is all about.

En espanol:
El regalo más grande no es poder estar en el cielo cuando muera, sino tener nueva vida, desde el momento de creer en el Señor Jesucristo.

El pecado más grave es no valorar ese regalo por quien Él es. Jesucristo es lo único que me dará un concepto adecuado de la gravedad de mi pecado.
El Cordero de Dios fue sacrificado por mi pecado y resucitado en victoria. Él es el regalo a todos los que en Él creen.
De eso trata la Semana Santa.

Where has my Time Gone? / ¿Dónde se ha ido el tiempo?

In English:
When I lived in the village, I could have spent hours and hours walking. The people of my village love to walk for hours on the dirt roads through the fields, while they enjoy spectacular views.

When I learned about Facebook I could have spent hours and hours connecting with friends. All of a sudden I was in touch with people that I have not seen for years.

When I moved into my small apartment I could have spent hours and hours decorating this little place, in order to make it just "perfect."

When I became a widow I could have spent hours and hours watching movies in order to drown out reality. I could have filled my life with activities in order not to think.

Years ago I read a small book, "From Now On...," by Ralph Shallis. To my amazement he wrote about spending one tenth of his day with God -- two hours and twenty minutes a day.

"This is practically impossible," I thought, until God bore down on my heart that I should at least give it a try.

However, perhaps one of my "feel-good" Christian mistakes is to think that a little bit of my daily time spent with God make me good and Him happy.

I need to realize that all time belongs to God. And with that time He invites me to know Him -- to enjoy Him. He longs to develop His mind in me.

What consumed my time today? Did I use it for the best? Have I been with God?

To that end He gave me His Book -- that I may know GOD!

"Oh, that we might know the LORD!
Let us press on to know Him."
From the Bible: Hosea 6:3

En español:

Cuando vivía en el pueblo, podría haber gastado horas y horas paseando. A la gente de mi pueblo le encanta pasar horas paseando por los caminos de tierra en el campo, disfrutando de las vistas espectaculares.

Cuando conocí la red social Facebook, podría haber gastado horas y horas volviendo a conectar con mis amigos. De repente estaba en contacto con gente que no he visto por años.

Cuando me mudé a un apartamento en la ciudad, podría haber gastado horas y horas decorando este pequeño espacio para hacerlo "perfecto".

Después de quedarme viuda podría haber gastado horas y horas viendo películas para ahogar las penas. Podría haber llenado mi vida con suficientes actividades para no tener que pensar.

Hace años leí un pequeño libro, "Si quieres ir lejos...", por Ralph Shallis. Me sorprendió leer que pasaba un diezmo de su tiempo cada día en comunión con Dios -- dos horas y veinte minutos al día.

"Esto es prácticamente imposible", pensé, hasta que Dios puso la carga en mi corazón de por lo menos intentarlo.

Sin embargo, tal vez uno de mis errores como cristiana es conservar mi sensación de bienestar pensando que un poquito de tiempo diario dedicado a Dios hará que yo sea buena y Él feliz.

Necesito reconocer que todo el tiempo le pertenece a Dios. Y con ese tiempo Él me invita a conocerle -- a disfrutar de Él. Desea desarrollar su mente en mí.

¿En qué cosas he gastado hoy mi tiempo? ¿Lo he utilizado para lo mejor? ¿He estado con Dios?

Para ese fin Él me ha dado su Libro -- ¡para que conozca a DIOS!

"Conozcamos, pues,
esforcémonos por conocer al SEÑOR".
De la Biblia: Oseas 6:3

Solutions for Being Alone / Soluciones para la Vida Solitaria

In English:
"Connie, you need to get your act together!" one of my dear male neighbors said to me with concern. "Look for a life companion so that you don't have to live alone. I found a woman, and after a few phone conversations, I invited her to spend three or four days with me at a hotel in order to see if we understood each other. And things are going great for me. It's a lot better than living alone. What you have to do, Connie, is find a man with whom you can share your life and not be so alone."

Immorality is not only limited to youth. Many people my age also have their flings. Because they are now older and find it hard to live alone, they reason that it is better to find a companion to live with, sleep with, travel with, and with whom to have fun. They also reason that it is OK to overlook whatever contrary view God might have regarding these decisions.

However, the Bible reminds us of truths related to those of us who have a relationship with Christ.

To have a true relationship with Christ means we obey Him.

"...Since we have died to sin,
how can we continue to live in it?"
Romans 6:2

"Run from sexual sin!...honor God with your body."
1 Cor. 6:18,20

We must be careful to not overlook the commands of Romans 6 if we want to live for Christ.

"Do not let sin control the way you live,
Do not give into sinful desires."
Romans 6:12

"Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin.
Instead give yourselves completely to God,...
So use yur whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God."
Romans 6:13

Simply because I'm a little older now does not give me the excuse to spend a few nights in a hotel with a man because I don't have anyone to travel with. Neither does it permit me to live with a man and not get legally married. And neither does it permit me to let my hormones do what they want to since I've lived alone all these years. It's as much sin at 61 years of age as it could have been at 16.

May God help us -- yes, to get our act together -- and live for HIM!
Christ is enough for every desire of the heart.

"Now you do those things that lead to holiness..."
Romans 6:22

En español:
"Connie, debes espabilarte", me dijo uno de mis queridos vecinos en su preocupación por mi. "Búscate un compañero para que no tengas que vivir sola. Yo he encontrado una mujer, y después de varias conversaciones por teléfono, le invité a pasar tres o cuatro días conmigo en un hotel para ver si nos entendíamos. Y las cosas me van fenomenal. Es mucho mejor que vivir solo. Lo que tienes que hacer, Connie, es buscarte un hombre con quien puedas compartir la vida, y no seguir sola".

La inmoralidad no se limita a los jóvenes. Mucha gente de mi edad también tiene sus aventuras. Como ya son mayores y es triste vivir solo, piensan que es mejor buscar una pareja con quien vivir, alguien con quien compartir la cama, alguien con quien viajar, alguien con quien divertirse. Piensan que por sus circunstancias está bien pasar por alto cualquier perspectiva contraria que pueda tener Dios sobre el asunto.

Pero en la Biblia nos recuerda verdades relacionadas a los que tenemos una relación con Cristo.

Tener una verdadera relación con Cristo significa obedecerle.

"...Nosotros ya hemos muerto con respecto al pecado;
¿cómo, pues, podemos seguir viviendo en pecado?"
Romanos 6:2

"Huid, pues, de la inmoralidad sexual...debéis honrar a Dios...con el cuerpo..."
1 Cor. 6:18,20

Debemos tener cuidado de no pasar por alto las advertencias de Romanos 6 si deseamos vivir para Cristo.

"Por eso, no dejéis que el pecado siga teniendo poder sobre vuestro cuerpo mortal, obligándoos a obedecer los deseos del cuerpo".
Romanos 6:12

"No entreguéis vuestro cuerpo al pecado como instrumento para hacer lo malo.
Al contrario, entregaos a Dios, como personas que han muerto y han vuelto a vivir.
Entregad a Dios vuestro cuerpo como instrumento para hacer lo bueno".
Romanos 6:13

Simplemente porque sea un poco más mayor ahora, no me da la excusa de pasar unas noches en un hotel con un hombre porque no tenga con quien viajar. Tampoco me permite vivir con un hombre sin casarme legalmente. Y tampoco me permite dar rienda suelta a mis hormonas porque me he encontrado sola todos estos años. Será pecado tanto a mis 61 años como lo hubiese sido a los 16.

¡Qué Dios nos ayude -- sí, a espabilarnos -- a vivir para EL!
Cristo es suficiente para cada anhelo de corazón.

"Esto sí os trae provecho,
pues el resultado es una vida consagrada a Dios..."
Romanos 6:22

Maturity / Madurez

In English:
Maturity is not a guaranteed process. Instead, maturity is often a painfully stretching experience, crucial for our growth. Maturity means I learn how to make a correct decision and act accordingly, whether I feel like it or not.

After I lived as a widow for about six months, I got up one morning, walked through the dark house, and pulled up the living room shutter.

During those months I laughed little. Within myself I achingly thought, "It would be so good to laugh again -- heartily!" I felt like my life was an endless plain with nothing exciting or interesting ahead.

That morning as I pulled up the shutter, I saw a spectacular sunrise. The golden clouds adorned the gorgeous sky painted pink, red, gold and blue. God was putting on his show!

A clear thought like a gentle command went through my mind,

"Sing to the Lord!"

But then a darker thought immediately followed it,

"I don't want to sing!"

At that crucial moment I faced a decision,

"Will I sing or not?"

In a squeaky, off-tune trembling voice, I started to sing:

"Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
Amen."

Nudged by the heavenly choir director, I had decided -- I WILL sing!

The Doxology was enough for that day. I only sang it once.

The next morning I went to the window and pulled up the shutter again. That morning the sunrise was not pretty. The sky was simply white, grey and blue. However, influenced by yesterday's decision, I sang the Doxology once more. This time it felt easier to sing.

After that I started to sing more spontaneously, and sometimes sang while I worked around the house.

The small decisions of every day mark our growing maturity. They show whether we make correct decisions or not, no matter how we feel. We may choose to grow, stand still, or slowly die.

What would have happened if I had decided not to sing that day?

"[God] chose [his people] to become like his Son..."
From the Bible: Romans 8:29

En español:
La madurez no es un proceso garantizado. Al contrario, a menudo la madurez es una experiencia dolorosa que nos lo exige todo, a la vez crucial para nuestro crecimiento. Ser maduro significa aprender a tomar una decisión correcta y actuar de acuerdo a ella, lo queramos o no.

Después de estar viuda unos seis meses, me levanté una mañana y crucé la casa oscura para subir la persiana del salón.

Durante esos meses, había reído poco. Pensaba afligida, "Sería tan bueno empezar a reír de verdad". En aquel entonces la vida para mi era como una llanura interminable sin ilusiones ni nada interesante por delante.

Esa mañana cuando subí la persiana, vi un amanecer espectacular: una obra maestra magnífica, un cielo pintado en tonos rosados, rojizos, dorados, y azules adornado con nubes de oro. Dios estaba dirigiendo su espectáculo.

Un pensamiento muy claro como un tierno mandamiento pasó por mi mente,

"¡Canta al Señor!"

Pero en seguida un pensamiento más oscuro lo siguió,

"¡No quiero cantar!"

En ese momento crucial me enfrenté a la decisión,

"¿Cantaré o no?"

Con un hilo de voz temblorosa y desafinada, empecé a cantar:

"¡A Dios el Padre celestial,
al Hijo nuestro Redentor,
y al eternal Consolador,
unidos todos alabad!
Amén".

Motivada por el director del coro celestial, había decidido -- "¡Cantaré!"

Esa "Doxología" me bastaba para ese día. La canté solo una vez.

A la mañana siguiente fui a la ventana y subí la persiana otra vez. Esa mañana no contemplé un hermoso amanecer. Blancos, grises y azules muy ordinarios adornaban el cielo. Sin embargo, influida por la decisión de ayer, volví a cantar la Doxología. Esta vez canté con más gusto.

En los días siguientes empecé a cantar más espontáneamente, y a veces cantaba mientras hacía mi trabajo en casa.

Las decisiones pequeñas de cada día marcan nuestra madurez creciente. Muestran si tomamos decisiones correctas o no, sean cuales sean nuestros sentimientos. Podemos escoger crecer, estancarnos, o morir lentamente.

¿Qué me hubiera pasado si ese día hubiera decidido no cantar?

"...los predestinó a ser hechos conforme a la imagen de su Hijo..."
De la Biblia: Romanos 8:29

The Banging on the Door / Los Golpes en la Puerta

In English:
It was a beautiful day. I was in the garden pulling weeds. The bright sun gave radiance to everything -- even flowering weeds. The glistening snow covered the mountain in the distance and put the crowning touch on the natural beauty of the village. I loved the fresh clean air and the tranquility as I worked in my garden.

All of a sudden three hard bangs broke the morning silence. The noise sounded like someone banging against a metal wall -- bang! bang! bang!

"What is that?" I wondered with a little concern.

I continued to pull weeds, but moments later the same loud blows worried me.

"What is going on? Is someone trying to break into something?" I silently worried as I peered over my garden wall.

Again -- bang! bang! bang! -- but this time I recognized where the noise came from.

"Aha, I should have known. It's the sheep!" I said with a slight smile. I noticed that the lot across from my garden was empty, and the sheep were still in the barn.

The frustrated sheep could stand it no longer! They wanted out of the dark barn! In their angry impatience, they butted their heads with all their force against the metal door -- trying to force it open or break it down.

"Mmm, maybe I should join them," I mused.

Bang! Bang! Bang! I've tried to open those closed doors of my life many times. But I've ended up just like the sheep -- with nothing but a bad headache! Inside my dark pen I fume, frustrated and impatient.

Sometime later the shepherd came. She opened the door with a smile, gently reprimanding the sheep for their impatience. They ignored her as they ran out the door and looked for their next bite of food.

I'm sure that the shepherd in my village heard the banging, just as I did. However, she had good reasons for opening the door when she did.

I don't know if sheep understand the meaning of patient trust. I don't know if I do. Perhaps I should realize that faith in the Great Shepherd quietly rests in Him. The Shepherd knows when to open the door. I could save myself a lot of headaches!

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen;
it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
The Bible: Hebrews 11:1

"...keeping our eyes on Jesus,
the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."
The Bible: Hebrews 12:2

En español:
Un hermoso día me encontraba en el huerto arrancando malas hierbas. El sol brillante hacía todo radiante -- aún las malas hierbas en flor. La nieve en la montaña lejana brillaba como diamantes, dando el toque final a la belleza natural del pueblo. Por mi parte, estaba disfrutando del aire fresco y limpio y la tranquilidad mientras trabajaba en el huerto.

De repente tres golpes fuertes rompieron el silencio de la mañana. Sonaba como si alguien estuviera dando golpes a una pared de metal -- ¡pam! ¡pam! ¡pam!

"¿Qué es eso?", me extrañé un poco preocupada.

Continué arrancando las malas hierbas, pero momentos después escuché los mismos golpes. Esta vez me alarmaron más.

"¿Qué está pasando? ¿Alguien está tratando de forzar algo?", pregunté en silencio mientras miré de reojo sobre el muro del huerto.

Lo oí otra vez -- ¡pam! ¡pam! ¡pam! -- pero esta vez reconocí el lugar de procedencia del ruido.

"Ah, lo tenía que haber sabido. ¡Son las ovejas!", me dije medio sonriendo. Me fijé en que la parcela en frente del huerto estaba vacía y que las ovejas tenían que estar todavía dentro del cortijo.

¡Las ovejas tan frustradas no podían aguantar más! ¡Querían salir de ese cortijo oscuro! Impacientes y enfadados, daban golpes con sus cabezas con todas sus fuerzas contra la puerta de metal -- intentando forzarla o romperla.

"Hmm, a lo mejor tendría que estar allí yo también", medité.

¡Pam! ¡Pam! ¡Pam! Tantas veces he intentado abrir esas puertas cerradas de mi vida. Y he terminado igual que las ovejas -- ¡sin nada más que un fuerte dolor de cabeza! Dentro de mi cortijo oscuro me enfado, frustrada e impaciente.

La pastora llegó un poco más tarde. Abrió la puerta con una sonrisa, reprendiendo tiernamente a las ovejas por su impaciencia. La ignoraron al correr hacia fuera, buscando que comer.

Estoy segura de que la pastora de mi pueblo oiría los golpes, como yo. Pero tenía buenas razones para no abrir la puerta antes.

No sé si las ovejas pueden entender el significado de una confianza paciente. No sé si lo entiendo yo. Tal vez debiera de reconocer que la fe en el Gran Pastor descansa con confianza en Él. El Gran Pastor sabe cuando abrir las puertas. ¡Podría ahorrarme tantos dolores de cabeza!

"...la fe es la certeza de lo que se espera,
la convicción de lo que no se ve".
La Biblia: Hebreos 11:1

"...puestos los ojos en Jesús,
el autor y perfeccionador de la fe,..."
La Biblia: Hebreos 12:2

Admiration / Admiración

In English:
Admiration: I read in all the books that men thrive on it!

However, I often felt extremely weak as I hung my dark cloud of criticism, instead of admiration, over my husband's head.

I prayed for years that God would change me. In a prayer notebook I wrote my requests before God under the title:

Wife

Under "Wife" I listed my requests before God. The following one I underllined twice:

Respect

Because I didn't understand "respect" very well, I wrote the dictionary meaning next to "respect":

"High or special regard, esteem"

Under this definition I wrote,

"Honor: not doing or saying anything that would make him less."

Not long ago I found a small yellow piece of notepad paper. The date on the page showed that I wrote it eight years before Richard's death. The title at the top of this little notebook page said:

Admiration

Under that title I listed the following:

1. You delight to come home after being gone with your responsibilities.
2. You light the candle on the table and pull out my chair for me for dinner.
3. You get up and answer the phone if it rings after we've gone to bed (so that I don't have to do it).
4. You care to evaluate what you say in public meetings.
5. You show faithfulness to me by not flattering other women or taking interest in them in an inappropriate way.
6. You care to obey speed limits.
7. You write letters to our children (who are at university).
8. You spent a vacation day to take out your elderly mother.
9. You are contented with simple supper meals and do not require that I prepare them more elaboratley.
10. You care for me by clearing the table after a meal.
11. You cried by your dad's death bed and told me later that your heart broke as you thought of Christ's death.
12. You are unselfish to me in your love.
13. You desire the best for me and our children.

Perhaps at times all God has to do to answer some of our prayers is -- open our eyes!

Let us keep praying!

"And I am certain that God,
who began the good work within you,
will continue his work until it is finally finished..."
From the Bible: Philippians 1:6

En español:
Admiración: Todos los libros siempre me decían que los hombres se alimentan de ella.

Sin embargo, muchas veces me encontraba extremadamente débil porque colocaba la nube oscura de la crítica, en vez de la admiración, sobre la cabeza de mi marido.

Por años oré a Dios pidiéndole que me cambiara. En mi cuaderno de oraciones, escribí mis peticiones delante de Dios bajo el título:

Esposa

Bajo ese título escribí mi lista de peticiones delante de Dios. Esta petición la subrayé dos veces:

Respeto

Como no entendía muy bien el significado de la palabra "respeto", escribí al lado la definición del diccionario:

"acatamiento que se hace a uno, miramiento, consideración,
atención, manifestaciones de cortesía"

Bajo esa definición escribí,

"Honor: no hacer o decir nada que le desestime".

No hace mucho encontré una pequeña hoja amarilla de un cuaderno. La fecha en el papel me indicó que lo había escrito ocho años antes de la muerte de Ricardo. El título en el papelito decía:

Admiración

Bajo ese título había escrito lo siguiente:

1. Tomas deleite en volver a casa después de estar afuera con tus responsabilidades.
2. Enciendes una vela decorativa en la mesa cuando nos sentamos a comer al mediodía y me colocas la silla.
3. Si suena el teléfono después de acostarnos, te levantas para contestarlo (para que no tenga que hacerlo yo).
4. Consideras lo que dices en reuniones públicas.
5. Me muestras tu fidelidad al no piropear a otras mujeres, ni tomar un interés inapropiado en ellas.
6. Te importa respetar los límites de velocidad.
7. Escribes cartas a nuestros hijos (que están en la universidad).
8. Usaste un día de vacaciones para salir con tu madre anciana.
9. Estás contento con una cena sencilla, y no requieres que prepare más.
10. Me ayudas a limpiar la mesa después de comer.
11. Lloraste en el lecho de muerte de tu padre, y después me dijiste que tu corazón se rompió pensando en la muerte de Cristo.
12. En tu amor por mi, no eres egoísta.
13. Deseas lo mejor para mi y nuestros hijos.

Tal vez lo único que tiene que hacer Dios para contestar algunas de nuestras oraciones es -- ¡abrirnos los ojos!

¡Sigamos orando!

"Estoy seguro precisamente de esto:
que el que comenzó en vosotros una buena obra,
la perfeccionará..."
Filipenses 1:6 de la Biblia

Christ's Agony / La Agonía de Cristo

In English:
I'm sure the soldiers seized Simon and forced him to carry Jesus' cross - not because they kindly wanted to make it easier for my Lord - not at all!

The brutal soldiers probably kicked and insulted my Lord as He fell hard and struggled under the weight of the heavy wooden beams, exhausted from a night of torment.

I'm sure He could scarcely lift His exhausted body and continue up that hill. I think He was mocked and insulted with swear words as they demanded him to get up. Then the soldiers seized Simon and shouted, "You carry it and let's get moving" (to put it politely).

I'm sure that blood spattered my Lord's face, dried blood matted his hair, and his raw open head wounds still oozed. I'm sure the flies, so prevalent, landed on his wounds and the blood - only adding to the misery. I'm sure his puffed and swollen half-shut eyes were black and blue from slaps and hits. He was now physically weak.

I'm sure that in the Garden the night before, He grieved with agonizing sobs. I'm sure He cried so that it seemed his heart would break.

And yet those dearest and nearest to him on earth slept - not because they did not love Him, but because the digestion of a full meal took its course over their tired bodies. He was alone as he cried at times too deeply for tears to come.

What blasphemy to see the effeminate, mournful, white-washed face of Jesus painted by artists and sculpted for Easter week parades!

The prophet Isaiah in the Bible tells us,

"His face was so disfigured he seemed hardly human,
and from his appearance, one would scarcely know he was a man."

This he suffered because

"...he was pierced for [my] our rebellion,
crushed for [my] our sins."

En español:
Estoy segura de que los soldados agarrarían a Simón y le forzarían a llevar la cruz de Jesús - no porque en su bondad quisieran hacer la carga más ligera para mi Señor - ¡ni mucho menos!

Lo más seguro es que los soldados tan brutales le dieran patadas y le insultaran a mi Señor cuando cayó con todo su peso y luchó bajo el peso de las pesadas vigas de madera. Estaría agotado por la noche de tortura.

Estoy segura de que apenas podía levantar su cuerpo agotado para continuar subiendo esa colina. Pienso que se burlarían y le insultarían con palabras profanas mientras le ordenaban que se levantara. Entonces los soldados sacudirían a Simón y le gritarían, "Llévala tú, muévete" (por decirlo de una manera más suave).

Estoy segura de que la sangre salpicaría la cara de mi Señor, que la sangre seca enredaría su pelo, y que las heridas abiertas en su cabeza supurarían. Estoy segura de que las moscas, tan abundantes, picarían sus heridas, empeorando su sufrimiento.

Estoy segura de que sus ojos estarían entrecerrados, hinchados y amoratados por las bofetadas y los golpes que recibió. Ahora estaba fisicamente débil.

Estoy segura de que en el huerto la noche antes, se angustió con sollozos agonizantes. Estoy segura de que lloró tanto que parecería que su corazón se rompería.

Sin embargo sus más queridos y más cercanos en la tierra durmieron - no porque no le amaban, sino porque la digestión después de una gran cena se apoderó de sus cuerpos cansados. Él estaba solo mientras agonizó una angustia que no le permitió ni lágrimas.

¡Qué blasfemia la afeminada, dolorida, blanqueada cara de Jesús pintada por los artistas y esculpida para la Semana Santa!

El profeta Isaías nos dice en la Biblia,

"...así fue desfigurada su apariencia más que la de cualquier hombre,
y su aspecto más que el de los hijos de los hombres."

Esto lo sufrió porque

"...fue herido por [mis] nuestras transgresiones,
molido por [mis] nuestras iniquidades."

The Pictures on the Wall / Los Cuadros en la Pared

In English:

Antonio, a cordial mechanic, works on my car. He maintains a modest business that inspires trust in his work.

After he serviced my car the first time, I gave him "something I had written about my former husband's faith."

"Oh, I like these things," said Antonio as he gladly took the tract. "I belong to a religious brotherhood, and during Easter week, I help to carry a float representing Christ's death. The religious pageantry is beautiful to me, and gives me a lot of satisfaction."

My succeeding visits show me the truth of Antonio's words. Never have I been in a mechanic's garage where such religious zeal was demonstrated.

Posters of Antonio's favorite Christ -- the Christ in Anguish -- line the wall of the garage. Nowhere can one ignore the Anguished Christ. A mechanic cannot even wash his hands at the sink without seeing a picture of the suffering Christ lying in his mother's arms.

While I waited for the work on my car to be done, I sat down in the car showroom. The comfortable chairs faced more pictures of the "Anguished Christ." One of Antonio's favorite pictures showed him climbing up on the Easter float to clutch the hand of the dying Christ.

I sat amazed at the fervor of this young man and his passion for religion, for pageantry.

When Antonio finished servicing my car, he prepared my bill. While he put the figures on paper, I wandered around his shop.

As I looked at the row of pictures of the suffering Christ behind the work stalls, I stood shocked before one of the framed pictures in line with the others. The picture portrayed a barely clad provocative woman, beckoning and enticing. Unabashedly, the seductive woman took her place among those of the Anguished Christ.

When Antonio completed my bill, he asked me, "Do you want a receipt?" We both knew that the question meant, "Should we declare this on income tax or not?"

"Is there no incongruence?" I wondered. "What do these pictures on the wall truly represent?"

When Christ is accepted as personal Redeemer, He generously and abundantly makes us a "new creation" within. The "new creation" despises sin and desires to love, obey and follow Christ.

The newness exposes pageantry for the show that it is. The conscience of a "new creation" in Christ prefers to pay the necessary taxes and flee lust more than clasp the hand of a statue on a float.

If Christ is embraced for who he truly is, the pictures will come down. And the true picture will be shown through the "new creation" -- and the new creation's actions.

Antonio, the pictures show me your heart. Someday when I come with my car again, I trust that I will see the best "picture" -- you with zeal for the true Lord Jesus Christ.

"Therefore if any man is in Christ,
he is a new creature;. . ."

2 Corinthians 5:17
from the Bible

En español:

Antonio, un simpático mecánico, cuida de mi coche. Tiene un negocio modesto, que me inspira confianza en su trabajo.

Después de cumplir con la primera revisión de mi coche, le di un folleto diciéndole que era algo que había escrito acerca de la fe de mi marido, ahora fallecido.

"Ah, a mi me gustan estas cosas", me dijo Antonio tomando el folleto con satisfacción. "Pertenezco a una Hermandad, y durante Semana Santa, soy uno de los que llevan el paso. La ceremonia de estas cosas me encanta."

Mis visitas sucesivas me han mostrado la verdad de las palabras de Antonio. Nunca he estado en un garaje que evidencie tanto celo religioso.

Cuadros del Cristo favorito de Antonio -- el Cristo angustiado -- llenan las paredes del garaje. No hay parte del garaje en el que se pueda ignorar al Cristo angustiado. Ni siquiera cualquier mecánico se puede lavar las manos en el lavabo sin ignorar el cuadro del Cristo sufriente yaciendo en los brazos de su madre.

Mientras espero me siento en la sala de los coches que vende. Más cuadros del Cristo angustiado. Uno de los favoritos es de Antonio mismo, subiendo al paso para coger la mano del Cristo sufriente.

Me impresiona el fervor de este hombre joven y su celo por la religión, por la pompa de la Semana Santa.

Cuando terminó con mi coche, Antonio me preparó la cuenta. Mientras preparaba la cuenta, di otra vuelta por el garaje, observando la fila de cuadros del Cristo sufriente en la pared detrás de la zona de trabajo de los mecánicos. De reprente paré, sobresaltada por uno de los cuadros entre los demás: un retrato de una mujer provocativa, escasamente vestida. Sin vergüenza, la mujer tentadora tomaba su lugar entre los del Cristo angustiado.

Cuando Antonio terminó de hacer la cuenta, me preguntó, "¿Te hace falta un recibo?" Tanto él como yo entendíamos esa pregunta. Quería decir, "¿Lo declaramos en la renta, o no?"

"¿Acaso no es una incongruencia?", medité. "¿Qué representan realmente esos cuadros en la pared?"

Cuando uno recibe a Cristo como Redentor personal, generosamente y abundantemente hace de esa persona una "nueva creación". Esa "nueva creación" desprecia el pecado y desea amar, obedecer y seguir a Cristo.

La nueva creación expone la pompa por lo que es. La conciencia del que es una "nueva creación" en Cristo prefiere pagar los impuestos necesarios y huir de la lujuria más que agarrar la mano de una estatua en uno de los pasos de Semana Santa.

Si Cristo realmente es aceptado como Salvador y Señor, los cuadros sobrarán. Y el cuadro más hermoso se verá a través de la "nueva creación" -- y sus acciones.

Antonio, los cuadros en el garaje me muestran tu corazón. Algún día cuando vuelva con mi coche, espero ver el mejor cuadro de todos -- tu misma vida celosa por la verdad que se encuentra en el verdadero Señor Jesucristo.

"Por tanto, si alguno está en Cristo,
nueva criatura es;. . ."

2 Corintios 5:17 de las
Sagradas Escrituras

The Satisfaction of Words

Richard, my heart companion, went to heaven. I know this because I believe God's Word. Richard trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and Lord, a sinner bought by the grace of God.

Love for me did not cease to exist. I learned to know it's meaning in a deeper way -- profoundly, magnificently.

The mutual words of love between us as husband and wife give me lasting satisfaction. Our pleasure and delight in each other reminds me that marriage relationships are meant to be a touch of a richer spiritual relationship with Christ.

Let us make the effort to think, meditate, and pen our words of love. Let us make the words our own, instead of buying a greeting card which will be given to thousands of other lovers. Let us store up the treasure house with words which will fill our memories of past blessings.

Words bring me a touch of the heart of the man I loved, not to close my focus on him alone -- but to stretch the elasticity of my heart to God and outwards.

Before marriage, with a prophetic sense, Richard wrote:

What a joy it is to know
that as through life we go
the sense of joy and pain
we know together, will be gain.

On our sixteenth wedding anniversary, alone in the church where we first said our vows, Richard read to me:

Today on our sixteenth wedding anniversary,
. . . before the Lord I want to promise,
with His patient help,
to love and honor you,
to care for you in all circumstances,
to support you, to pray for you, to encourage you.

Four years later he wrote:

How many more togethers will He give?
Enough for our eternity together . . .
none less,

none more.

We knew that love between us would never end as I wrote to him three years later:

Juntos en el seno del Señor
seguiremos disfrutando
del verdadero amor para siempre.
(Together in the bosom of the Lord,
we will continue to always enjoy
true love.)

He later penned his prayer for my birthday:

I pray . . .
that you will continue to grow
wiser and more beautiful
with the true beauty
that only our LORD can give.

A year later he continued his thoughts with:

God has given me
an enduring privilege
to spend this life
here below with you.

In the same year I responded to him:

Your caring, self-giving love
is a wonderful treasure.
. . . God has been so good to teach us and to humble us,
so that we can more fully enjoy
His wonderful blessings,
and so that we can also more fully know
in our heads
and in our experience that
"every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights."

Two years later I wrote to him:

Every year I think I love you more,
and rejoice in sharing life as one with you.

The next year he wrote to me:

I love you
and want to be available and ready
to continue growing and maturing with you. . . .

Little I knew the shortness of time as I penned these thoughts to him the year before he died:

You are ever more precous --
more than the day I married you,
and more than the year before.

That same year he responded with:

. . . The Lord has held our hand
and is guiding us to that Land.
With Him we will be eternally blest,
but down here are often put to the test. . . .
Together we will face it all,

until He gives our upward call. . . .

His final blessing came with this note three weeks before his death:

I love you
and pray for your blessing
during the days ahead.

God answered his prayer.
Soon, without him, I learned to lean alone upon the "Lover of my Soul."